Morgan Freeman Credibility

 Because I'm extremely self-important and otherwise a gigantic douchebag, I've decided to go back to blogging.  So here are some new thoughts that I hope inspire someone else to a bigger better idea than my own so that I can sue them and take credit for it!

Recently it occurred to me that I'm getting old and some of the wonderful things that I think about ought to be written down somewhere out of the way on the internet, but still be accessible so that I can look back over them later and re-inspire myself.  I really do spend a lot of time thinking about odd things that might otherwise make me look nerdy or just smart enough to be an idiot (if that makes sense).  I've also come to the conclusion that just about ANYTHING in life can be accomplished by someone who is willing enough and charming enough.  The basis for what we consider to be the American meritocracy is a gigantic sham.

This thought hit me the other day when I was watching the Science channel in HD while trying to go to sleep.  There's a show on there called "Through the Wormhole" hosted by Morgan Freeman.  First of all, the Science Channel makes me feel smart because I typically have some small grasp of what their talking about and can quickly segregate moronic theories from those that are otherwise intriguing.  That is entirely to say that if it doesn't intrigue me then it's entirely stupid!  For example, there was a guy on there who claimed that the universe was a decahedron and proved it by blowing up a balloon into a decahedron made out of plastic...

Perhaps you see my point now, and I'm the one who bombed out of the astrophysics program at UNM while this guy is on television with Morgan Freeman.

The other thing about this show is that it's hosted by Morgan Freeman, who in his role in Bruce Almighty proved that he is just loveable enough to play God.  I don't have a man crush on Morgan Freeman per se, I think he's adorable like a cute, albeit old kitten.  He instantly lends credibility to anything he talks about because of the way he talks.  He's magnificently charming.

I, on the other hand, have these genetically flawed eyebrows that make me look like a complete jerk everywhere I go.  Everyone always thinks I'm in a bad mood and asks me what the problem is..which in turn puts me in a bad mood.  Fortunately for me, the internet is somewhat still young and you don't have to see my face all the time (yet), all you have to do is read (and click on all of my advertising so I can make $23450327 off of Google Ad-Sense).

So there you have it.  From here on out, simply think in your mind that all of my thoughts in future blogs are written by Morgan Freeman and we will get along quite nicely.  In the meantime, I'm going to write a lot more things about the past present and future that may just alienate me from normal society, but that will hopefully jog YOUR mind and perhaps awaken an idea in YOUR head.

Furthermore, I promise not to restrict my thoughts to certain subjects and I promise that somewhere I will print something awful and shameful.  Until then...