Football is BACK!

FOOTBALL TIME!

Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows that every time a new Football season starts, I become the world's most gigantic homer leading up to the season.  Now to clarify for the one single Canadian reader of my blog, I intend for the word "football" to mean "NFL hard hitting action that occurs mostly on Sundays from September through the beginning of February and is as much fun for Americans to watch as Judge Judy".  I do not mean "soccer", which is what people with questionable parenting skills do to their children every summer so that they can fight with other parents in the stands during games".

Now that we have all that clarified, I'd like to go entirely on record before the start of the 2011-12 season and predict (again) that this year the Dallas Cowboys are going 16-0 and will skip care-freely to their first Superbowl win in over a decade.  Jerry Jones and Tony Romo will both be canonized by the Catholic Church while still alive and the Washington Redskins will completely suck and be demoted as an organization to playing college ball for the ACC immediately after Dan Snyder goes to Hell.

Now the Dan Snyder going to Hell part is something that even Redskin fans can agree on, BUT that's all we really have in common.

Now, I've made a point of saying that everyone makes mistakes in life and I've made a gigantic one.  I married a Redskins fan.

As a Cowboys fan from a long lineage of Cowboys fans in the family (not to mention that 1.74 trillion percent of my family are ordained ministers), this is the scarlet "A" that I must bear until I meet my maker (which will be tomorrow if my wife reads this article).  It also subjects me to the shame and failure of family moments like this whereby my two year old daughter was abused monstrously by being forced to wear this horror:

FAIL

So my point is this.  Nobody outside of the new Dallas stadium is perfect, unless my wife gives me "the look of justice", and then MAYBE she is.  I can also safely say that I will be mired in doom and gloom two games into the season when the Cowboys have once again started dreadfully and are 0-2.  I know for a fact that due to the Cowboys in conference schedule that my marriage is legally null and void twice a year.

So if you're a Dallas fan in her late twenties who's is a 10 out of 10 that's somewhat "top heavy", please click on all of my Google Ad-Sense advertising.  In the meantime, if you're a Steelers fan who happens to like kids, I have a third rounder I'm getting ready to make a free-agent.

-Dave Lumpkin